Dear Adam,
I understand you feel I desire a hostile relationship with
you based on the emails you have sent me in the last couple of months. I assure you I do not want anything other
than a co-parenting relationship. I
recognize that it is difficult for you to communicate in a neutral manner
because you feel I have ulterior motives.
You have also mentioned that it is difficult for you to be nice because
it is awkward and uncomfortable. However,
you voluntarily entered into a co-parenting agreement and that does require
communication on both our parts. I would
hope that you could use better judgement and look at the communication I have
sent you over the last six months and see that I in fact have not been
hostile. I have done what was expected
of me as a co-parent: I have informed you of things going on with the
children. I don’t do this to open up a
friendly line of communication, I do this because I also signed the
co-parenting agreement. I don’t ask your
input on hair cuts because I want to talk to you, I do it because it is
required of me. It is also required of
you.
I would like if you would stop the passive aggressive
approach you have adopted and actually parent the children with me. I would like it if you followed through with
what has been court ordered such as paying your portion of school and
psychological fees. I have not incurred
unnecessary costs on behalf of the children.
The school the three oldest children attend was agreed upon prior to the
divorce so you knew the cost. I did not
decide to have Ms. I hate Everything attend therapy and thus incur more fees: she was
suicidal. Our daughter wanted to end her
life and had a plan to hang herself in your basement. She had a list of ways to kill herself and
why they would or would not work. She
had a suicide pact with her friend, a friend that did in fact attempt suicide
and sent photos of the attempt to our daughter.
If you think this is all my imagination look through Ms. I hate Everything’s texts, ask
to see the suicide letter she left, or simply look at the cut marks that are
so visible on her arms and thighs. It
does not matter that she does not like therapy; she also apparently does not
like her life. She does not need to be
told she is a free spirit and is free to make her own decisions. She does not need to be told that because her
parents are divorced you do not need to ask my permission for things that
affect her. She needs to be told her
parents both love her and will work together to help her.
I have tried to get your assistance in taking children to
dental appointments. I made a suggestion
that would have me taking them to physicals and vision screenings and you
taking them to two dental cleanings a year.
You declined. I then let you know
of appointments that were scheduled during your parenting time and you
cancelled those appointments. You are
defaulting on your obligation as a parent by not helping with these
responsibilities. The parenting plan
states that we each share equal responsibility for the custody, care, maintenance,
and control of the children. This means
you share in the responsibility of making sure they get dental cleanings and
have regular medical care and vision screenings. It does not fall all on me to manage and
arrange. It does mean potentially taking
time off work for both of us.
I understand that I cannot tell you how to parent or even to
parent. I can tell you what is in the
parenting agreement that you signed. You
agreed, and therefore are court ordered to pay the money I have already discussed. You have been provided with receipts for the
visit to Dr. Pediatrician and the ER. You have
been provided the receipts for some of her therapy sessions. You were given the contact information for
the facility and are capable of calling to verify the information and
calculating 65%. You were also informed
prior to Wicked that it was a requirement for Oldest Son’s theatre magnet. You were told the price and took him to the theatre. Outside of the parenting agreement you also
agreed to split the federal and state tax refund equally. You told me the amounts of these refunds and said
you would give me a check for my half. I
understand you never received a check from the IRS but you did receive the
refund in full as a payment toward a debt you agreed to pay. It has also been brought to my attention that
you paid cash for a house which tells me you could have paid me the money
owed. You choose to not pay.
I have choices to make as well. I can choose to continue letting you off the
hook as far as the court orders go but that is not in the best interest of the
children. I can also choose to work with
you, which is what I have been trying to do.
I am frustrated as the response I get from you is not cooperative. Which leads me to another option, I can file
contempt charges. I have already met
with my attorney and inquired with the court.
I have the evidence in writing from your emails and texts. I also have the evidence from invoices to
show I have made more than my required share of payments for school and
therapy. I don’t want to file contempt
charges, that will not move us toward a cooperative co-parenting
relationship. I would like to work this
out between the two of us. If I am
unable to get a response from you or if your response is similar to what you
have already sent (or not sent) I will have to take that final option and file
contempt. If you doubt my follow through
remind yourself that when you went against our agreement last year I filed for
divorce. If that doesn’t convince you it
might do you well to remember that I was the one that filed the eviction papers
and the civil complaint documents for the former tenants. If that still does not convince you of my
abilities or willingness to file contempt it would be wise to recognize that I
write court motions as part of my job I
compile evidence and testify in court on a regular basis. I am neither ignorant nor intimidated by the
process. Please do not confuse me
writing this as an ultimatum or a threat.
It is neither, it is simply me spelling out what needs to change and the
options for going about it. I look
forward to hearing from you and hope you are willing and able to move pass the
negative feelings you hold against me as your ex-wife and will work with me as
the mother of our children.
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