Jan. 23, 2015 continued
Adam's response to me explaining that I was trying to be helpful deserves its very own post because it is one of those defining moments. At least I thought so as did my coworker that was with me at the time I received the message.
Adam: I need to address this. I think you an I should have a sit down talk about autonomy in divorce. For some reason I don't understand, you are feeling the need to use all these little legal angles you come across to keep control of me in small ways. It's weird to keep doing that nearly a year later and especially given the particular circumstances of our split. The kids see all this as well. It's not just hurtful to me.
You've made my life plenty difficult this past year, and you've cost me thousands of dollars and caused way more heartache that I can even tell you about. If you want to talk about why you're still angry, then let's talk about it and I'll hear you out, but please stop doing this.
If we modify the agreement from picking up kids at 1pm on Wednesday to 6pm on my Wednesday then the child support should not increase. This was simply an error in the parenting agreement my lawyer drafted that I didn't catch. It makes it so I can't teach classes or schedule meetings Wednesdays. I don't have anyone that can pick up the kids except for your mom (whom I let live rent free and i paid her phone bill for years). Think about this and get back to me.
I wanted to say so much to this incredibly offense, demeaning, and ludicrous message. But I held my tongue just slightly.
Me: Mom worked in the home and provided childcare. It wasn't a simple hand out. And for quite a while she was paying us the cash for her phone.
The time for thinking and negotiating is over. Do not blame me. I was not the one that took a passive approach. I offered multiple times to sit down and speak with you and you declined. I appreciate your efforts trying to discuss things with me, but I want to let you know that I don't feel comfortable talking with you after everything that has happened.
Best wishes on finding a solution to you parenting time dilemma. If you have anything that directly relates to the children that I need to be informed about please don't hesitate to send me an email.
Adam: Leave me the fuck alone. I don't want you to contact me anymore.
And then you blocked me from contacting him.
If saying something like that, and using the very words he used on me, has pissed him off this much then I was right to not agree to sitting down to talk with him. He can't control himself and I still don't feel safe around him. I don't even feel safe getting messages from him because as was just shown, he still attacks. I hate to admit it, but I still get mini anxiety attacks when I see a message from him. I start to shake, my heart rate increases, yep panic. Why? Because I lived with his abuse for years and it hurt. It will stay with me forever. He can never fix that but he sure as hell can make it worse.
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