I saw the School posted something on Facebook about an informational meeting for dual enrollment. The kids have to attend if they want to participate and since it will be on Adam's night I sent him an email letting him know.
From Adam: "Ooh. I'll have to see if Spencer can watch the littles, but my intention is
to go. Thanks for letting me know, and thanks again for being polite. That
means a lot to me.
As far as the School bill you sent with the kids, I do want to pay it but
I'm honestly scraping. I have an enormous pile of debts that I'm working
through. I'm trying to work all the extra jobs I can, but it still seems
like it's never enough. My University class was cancelled so I have to find
another way to come up with the money. I just wanted you to know I'm not
ignoring you, just having trouble. I won't let them get disenrolled.
On that note, can you make sure to work with the kids on improving their
grades, and Littlest on his reading? I know divorce stuff and moving has been
hard on them but I don't want any of them to get left behind. They tell me
that you guys have started working on some stuff, and that you've set some
rules, and that seems like it's probably a good thing. I've been working
with helping Littlest put words together, but I have very limited time to do
it, and it seems like most of my time with them is spent cooking and doing
dishes.
You were always a very good mom to them, so I trust that you'll know the
specifics and particulars of what each of them need."
I think my head is going to explode form this one. Is he really working all the extra jobs he can or only teaching jobs? Pretty sure he isn't delivering pizzas and I hear they are hiring. And who the (insert very explicit word) is he to tell me how to spend my time with the kids?! Yes, I am a very good mom and I always have been! I do know what they each need. I also happen to be the one that got each of the kids reading in the first place! And, and, and! He has limited time when they are with him?! REALLY??!! He's busy cooking and doing dishes?! Is he kidding me?! What doe she think my time with them is like? I don't have the cushy professor job he said would give him tons of extra time with kids. I am a children services caseworker. Some nights I get home after the littles are already in bed. I cook, I wash dishes, I do laundry, I help with homework, I cut hair. I manage the house around seven little people. And yet, I do not need him telling me how to spend those little moments of time that I treasure just cuddling or talking with my children. I have never struggled with how to spend time with these guys. He was the one that struggled and disengaged.
The utility companies are really starting to get on my nerves. I called back in October to have the accounts separated. I asked that I be removed from all of the accounts associated with Adam's house and vice versa. I asked that all the bills for my house be sent to me. Is that a hard thing to do when you are a customer rep. for a utility company? Apparently it is because today Adam forwarded me an email from the water company that a water bill for my house was past due. I haven't received a bill since last quarter! I called, and once again requested the contact info be me and only me. The guy said he would send it on to a supervisor to make sure the change went through. Luckily the bill was only $23.79. I do have to wonder, if Adam got an e-bill for a past due does that mean he also got the actual e-bill?
March 19, 2015
Back in August, I asked Adam to transfer money into the joint account for the kids' school fees or pay it directly. I had already purchased school clothes and supplies by that time so it was an even split. He never paid. If you recall, he actually used it as a pawn. He said if I would sign and let him buy a house right around the corner then he would pay. He also tried to get out of paying 50% of mandatory school fees when we went to court for the final divorce hearing. Eventually he agreed to pay half of all required fees.
So that gets us to today. I keep getting bill statements from the school. I've made payments but there is still money owed. I explained to Adam the the starting amounts and the current due. We each should be paying $280 for the basic fees. Oldest has an added $50 ($25 each) that needs to be paid. I've paid $335 up to now.
Adam responded that he called ht school and I was wrong. "You had the correct amounts for each of the School fees, but you added the totals incorrectly which changes how much we each owe. I called School to verify what they were and what the current balance is. The total for all
the children's fees this year was $490. That divides into $245 for you and $245 for me. The school
shows a balance of $300 for all three kids.
I sent a check today to Stivers for $245, so please drop a check for $55
off to School to cover the remainder as soon as possible. "I emailed back that the school left off a magnet fee fro Ms. Middle Child and the $50 for Oldest. I left off the bit about how dare he tell me to pay as soon as possible when he was the one that waited 7 months!
March 22, 2015
I get two personal days off a year and took them during the children's spring break and attempted to schedule all the well visits and dental during those days. I was only able to schedule four well visits. Mr. Dentist was not available during spring break for dental cleanings. Since Adam lives closer to his office, I was thinking he could be responsible for the dental visits and I will be responsible for well visits. Dental cleanings are twice a year so I would also cover taking the children to vision screenings. I presented this to Adam and asked if this this arrangement would work for him. He was simple in his reply, "No thanks."
No thanks? No thanks? Okay, well what arrangement would allow him to participate in this part of parenting the children? No reply.
March 23, 2015
When the kids got home from Adam's, I pulled Oldest into my room and asked if anything had happened that might have upset Adam. She said no but he asked her the same thing about me. Then he told her "Mommy was being nice and then all of a sudden was mean." She said he then showed her the emails between us. Um, how is that appropriate? Anyway...Oldest told me she thought my messages all seemed very professional: brief and to the point. She didn't see them as mean at all. I asked if she told him that. She said no. And I don't blame her. What child is going to tell her father he is wrong and is seeing something that isn't there?
March 28, 2015
Oldest Son and Oldest were talking to me about Spring Break and the little girls mentioned Adam getting them ice cream on Wednesday because of good grades. I showed them the calendar and how the schedule will work out over the next few weeks. I wanted to make sure Adam was also aware of how the next few weeks will go. The regular schedule would have the children with him this Wednesday and then next weekend. However, holidays and breaks take priority over the weekend and weekday parenting times. I have Spring Break and Easter weekend this year: this would typically be his weekend according to the every other weekend routine. The routine does not get reset because of breaks and holidays so he does not have parenting time until Wednesday, April 15. That's a long time for the kids to go without seeing him and a long time for him to go without spending time with the kids. I know it would a big departure from the parenting agreement but I offered time on Wednesday (since it sounds like plans were made) and some time on Easter weekend if he would like it(Friday to Saturday). I was pleasantly surprised that he took me up on the offer.
A little later in the day he asked me, for th third or fourth time OMG, for the turbotax login info. Is he not paying attention when I give him this info? I gave it to him and he finished the tax return. Great! Except he then let me know he changed the log in info and will send me a copy of the return. He also told me the amount of the refunds. Okay, great. Except that little part about changing the log in info/ That means I can't review or see the return until he gives it to me. And the fact that he already submitted the return means he did so by signing my name (or SSN as turbotax does). Does this seem like a huge boundary violation and something the IRS might frown upon? Am I just being picky? And I would like to point out that after entering my portion there was $6595 for a federal return and after Adam entered his it dropped to $2200. He told me he didn't have taxes taken out when he changed jobs. Lovely, so I just lost money paying his income taxes.
I asked if he had the info for City taxes. He said that wasn't an option on Turbotax and could be answered tomorrow. Did he forget that he filed the City taxes last year? He knows how to do it. I guess he forgot that it is a paper form. I would do the city taxes but he is the keeper off all the info.
March 29, 2015
Oldest Son has his first (group) date tomorrow. He asked if I had some cash for him to use to buy the girl something to eat. I hated it but I told him no, I don't have the money. I explained to him that I am going on two months without spousal support. He came back about an hour later asking if I could buy him a new shirt. I once again mentioned the spousal support. I went on to explain that when Adam told the court he couldn't afford to pay the child support and spousal support amounts he had been ordered to pay, I came with the bare minimum amounts I could accept and still make ends meet. Those were the numbers the court used. I have now gone two months without some of that money. The Support Enforcement Agency shows he has an arrearage of $3600. That is money that has still been paid out for bills, food, and gas. That was me taking money from savings to make sure things got paid. That is me wondering when will he pay? All while he takes the kids to The Pub for lunch (easily $70) or buys tickets to concerts.
No comments:
Post a Comment