Monday, February 16, 2015

Figuring out a holiday

Nov. 24, 2014
 My mom was sick and unable to pick littlest up from school.  I asked Adam if he could pick him up and drop him off with the older kids.  I sent this message in the morning, you know, giving Adam enough time to respond and plan.  He responded that he didn't have a car seat and wouldn't be able to do pick up.  It was nice of him to respond but can I do that nit picking thing I like to do?  Why doesn't he have a car seat in his vehicle?!  He does know that he is a father 24/7 doesn't he?  If there was an emergency at the school and they couldn't get ahold of me, Adam wouldn't be able to respond!  Is he stupid?


Later in the day he messaged:
I just wanted to get your expectations about what day the handoffs will be. Will I bring them back on Wednesday at 9PM, then pick them up Thursday? Keep them Wed night? Take them back to you on Sunday? Would you like them back Saturday instead? I’d like to hear what you are interested in and what your preferences are. This is their first Thanksgiving with us being apart, and this used to be a major family holiday for us, so I want to make it smo
oth for them and give them the chance to celebrate with both of us if we can at all work it out.  

I responded that I figured we would be following the standard orders.  That's all I expect because well, rules.  Does he really think he needs to remind me that this was/is a major family holiday? Does he think I forgot that every year for 15 years I loved planning the menu and inviting people over to join our family for a day of celebrating loved ones?  Does he really think I forgot or that it didn't dawn on me that this would be our first Thanksgiving apart?  


Then he texted: By the way email is fine for most things but if you need to get a hold of me in a timely manner please text or call (insert phone number) or send a Facebook message. I don't mind hearing from you. Unfortunately, I still get hundreds of emails per day and I often miss important emails until hours or days later. It's not the best way to reach me quickly.


**Now I will take a break from the past and jump to the present.  Adam likes to change the rules or his thoughts on things often.  he will swear up and down he doesn't but that's one point of me keeping this journal/blog.  He changes...a lot!  So these messages were just a few months ago.  Maybe one month ago, Adam blocked me (yet again) on Facebook.  He said "Leave me the fuck alone. I don't want you to contact me anymore."  That contradicts the bit about "I don't mind hearing from you."  And this bit "if you need to get a hold of me in a timely manner please text or call (insert phone number)?"  Well, it would appear Mr. Asshat has blocked me because every time I try to call (because of an emergency) it doesn't even ring but goes straight to voicemail.  When I say emergency I mean one of the children was experiencing suicidal ideation and self-harming, you can read about that in the January 2015 blog posts; if you didn't see Adam as an asshat before, those posts might do the trick.
Then there was the exchange from today.  He had them for Thanksgiving last year, and because of how his attorney wrote the parenting schedule he will also get them this year. Adam is refusing to compromise to he gets them for the holiday in even years and I get them in odd years because "It departs too much from the agreed schedule."  Oh, okay.  So all that wanting to make sure the kids had a smooth holiday, right out the window along with being fair.

x

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