Some co-parenting

Nov. 17, 2014

Now that the temporary orders are in place I should have all the bills coming to my location.  I should have access to all the accounts I am responsible for covering.  It came to my attention that I am not getting all the bill info for the mortgage.  I asked Adam if he had contacted the mortgage company to have the billing address changed?  I would have done it, like I did all the other bills, except this is in his name and I cannot make the changes.  Well, I could if I were like Adam.  When he first moved out he logged into the websites of the utilities using my log-in information.  He changed the mailing addresses to his residence.  I could do that but it seems sort of, I don't know, underhanded?  Anyway. I asked him to contact the mortgage company ASAP to make the change. I also requested he give me the account number and billing address and phone number so I could get the payment sent out.  

He responded that he changed the address with weeks ago, but today he called to make sure my name was on the correspondence, and they hadn't updated it. He hasn't been getting any mail from them regarding the mortgage though, so he claims to not know what the issue is. 

The representative told Adam he would send me an e-mail with the proper account information to set it up in bill pay. 

Later in the day I had to do some co-parenting.  I let Adam know I will be deleting Middle Child's Facebook page and removing her internet access.  She was having inappropriate conversations with her friends.  I also went over her internet history and she has an OkCupid account.  She's been sneaking on in the middle of the night.  If she starts making responsible choices and can do so for a bit of time I will let her have another account. If he would like to text with her or call her on the phone he can let me know ahead of time and I will make sure she has my phone to use.  he thanked me and said it was concerning to him.  

Nov. 19, 2014

Received the following email from Adam:

Hi Heather, 

FYI back, Middle Child un-deleted her Facebook and was back online as of about 3 pm today. I've confiscated her phone and she's lost all computer privileges indefinitely. I think "those years" are in full swing with her. I'll keep you up to date with anything else that you need to be concerned about. 

Middle Son is saying he's had the same sore throat for a week, so I'm going to give him a little bit of kids' Motrin.

Also, Oldest Son's been drinking out of the milk jug, and he has a cold sore. Maybe watch him at home to make sure he's not doing that. I gave him push ups.

Hope all is well. Take care 

Adam

Nov. 20, 2014

I felt the need to email the attorney:

You said to let you know when I received child support.  I received the October support. 

There have been a couple instances of Adam withholding information from me about the children.  The first being information about an award our son received for a writing competition he had to participate in for school.   I found out about the award through Facebook. 

The next incident was last night.  Adam has visits Wednesday 6-9pm.  He has been feeding the children dinner so I do not meal plan a meal for that night.  Shortly before pick-up, Adam texted our son telling him to make sure all the kids ate beforehand because he wouldn't be feeding them.  The biggest issue I have is Adam communicating these issues with the children and not me.  I have no problem feeding the children dinner but Adam needs to be communicating with me if he expects there to be a shared parenting/co-parenting plan.  I am frustrated.   I am thinking something needs to be written into the parenting agreement about Adam communicating any and all concerns, issues, or changes to me and not the children.  Is this possible?

The attorney wrote back:  I will address this issue with the other attorney. In the meantime, you should let Adam know directly that it is important to communicate directly and not through the children. He should already know this, assuming he attended the mandatory parenting seminar. Maybe it did not sink in.

The more the attorney learns about Adam and interacts with him at court, the less neutral he is when discussing him.  I like that!