How the year ended

Dec. 19, 2014

Oldest Son decided he wants a completely new hairstyle. Thank goodness!  I will be trimming the sides and back as usual but he wants a shorter top because he thinks it looks nicer. I made sure to ask Adam first, he said it was fine.  He also wanted to know if he could take the two oldest tonight to a local concert to benefit the a Shelter.I said I would talk to them to find out if they wanted to go but added we had plans to do holiday stuff when I got home from work.

Then Adam said he looked at the parenting order and saw I would have all the kids Wednesday. He had planned for them to do their secret santa shopping that night. He wants to make sure they get the chance to do it.  He offered to give me a list of who picked who if you want to do it. 

So basically, he made them a promise to take them shopping, forgot or just didn't plan well, and now he wants me to take them and pay.  I explained he gets them at 9pm on Wednesday. I already let the littlest four do Santa shopping at the school, that's where little girl got the silly putty she gave him.  The same silly putty she worried he wouldn't like but I assured her he would like because it came from her.  The same silly putty he handed back to her after he opened it because "He said he thought I would like it more than him."  And yes, her heart was broke.  He is a true ass that does not stop to think how his actions or words come off to other people.  Sure, he thought Little Girl would like to play with it more than him but he could have let her "borrow" it.  By giving it back before he even played with it all he accomplished was rejecting her.  Yeah, that was a fun emotional mess to clean up.

It took him a little bit to realize Wednesday is Christmas Eve.  He said nevermind. "We'd planned to do something on our own as well so we'd have a Christmas here too. I just didn't plan well."  And this is nothing new.  Every year, seriously, he waits until the last minute to shop for anyone.  If you have ever received a gift from him it wasn't because he stopped and thought about you.  Nope.  It was because I stopped and thought about you.  The last few years he said it was my fault he didn't get in the holiday spirit because I shopped for everyone before he had the chance.  Here's the thing- I never told him who I shopped for.  This includes the children.  So you might be thinking, he obviously shopped for me.  Nope again, sort of.  he did buy me gifts but often times they were gag gifts or he would wait until 12/24 so there were limit items left.  Or there was the year that he waited until 11pm on Christmas Eve and he shopped online and printed up pictures of the items.  That year I got a purple dildo in the mail a couple weeks later.  It's the thought that counts and he couldn't even give me that much.   

Anyway, about his request for the benefit concert…Oldest had a party to go to tonight and Oldest Son said he is indifferent about the concert.  Since neither of them feels strongly about going I said no.

I offered that since mom is still in the hospital and the kids have the day off school, he could pick them up for shopping while I am at work.  He said that worked for him and he would get them around 3pm.  

Notice how I had to come up with the solution because he gave up?  That is a running theme with him.

  

Dec. 21, 2014

I had scheduled for three of the kids to have dental cleanings and mom was going to take them.  She is not quite up to the task yet.  I asked if Adam would be available Tuesday morning to take them.  He wasn't sure but would let me know when he had his planner.  

Dec. 22, 2014

By late morning, I hadn't heard back from Adam so I just cancelled the appointments.

An hour and a half later he replied:

I just looked and I am free.

I responded: Just canceled the appointment. If you want to call before they schedule someone  else feel free.  He never responded.

Dec. 24, 2014

Oldest and middle sons have a respiratory thing going on.  I texted Adam to let him know.  He said I should take them to a doctor.  I said they weren’t that sick but I wanted to make sure he knew since he would have them tonight.  His oh so nice response: Not through your lawyer this time?

Three hours later he texted that his truck wasn’t starting.  I said Ok.  I know what he wanted, he wanted me to volunteer to bring the kids to him.  But you know what?  I am not here to problem solve for him.  A little bit later he said his truck was not taking a jump.  I responded, Ok.  Then he wrote: I’m upset with you about the lawyer sending me threatening messages, so I hate to ask you to bring them over.  But I don’t know any other way.  Could you?  I simply said, yes.  I could have said so much more!  Like, if you didn't go against the protection orders by getting rid of my auto insurance then your attorney wouldn’t have had to inform you of the consequences. 

Dec. 25, 2014

I didn't want to interrupt Adam's holiday with the children. It's hard not being with them even though we celebrated yesterday.  It sucks that he got them for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and will get them for NYE as well.  

I did ask how Middle Son was doing with his illness.  Adam said he was doing better and didn’t look like death. 

Dec. 26, 2014

I got a text from Adam stating the little girls had been trying to text me and send me emails. One of them in particular would be really excited to hear back from me "if you have the time."  

I asked what app they were using because there weren’t any emails from them.  

Now as a responsible parent, I would have informed the other parent that the littles were sending some messages and how, so the other parent could reply quickly and not leave the kids hanging for a few hours.  But, that’s the responsible parent in me. The same responsible parent would have let the other parent know the little kids had phones!  

Dec. 29, 2014

Adam sent me a text copy of the auto insurance card.  It only took him…5 days.

Dec. 30, 2014

Little Girl texted me because she is sad.  She said Adam doesn’t play with her but he’s always “working.”  I asked if she wanted me to tell Adam.  She said yes. 

I let him know she asked me to ask him to play with her. She seems quite upset that he is working all the time. He said Ok, she was sitting next to him when she said that. 

"Also, thanks for texting with them. They really like that a lot. I think it's important."  If he saw her texting me and saw that she was upset, WHY THE HELL DID HE MAKE HER WAIT?!