The bang continued into July

July 2, 2014

            I asked Adam if he would consider going back to transferring my allowance on Thursdays so I would have money to buy groceries on my way home from work.  He agreed, yay!  He said he set a reminder on his calendar. 

            He also let me know he had to spend $2200 on a new A/C coil and purchased the the three oldest kids and himself beds so they aren’t sleeping on the floors.  I’m wondering where he got all the money for this stuff since he claims to be “living in the poor house.” And by beds he meant frames, not the mattresses.

July 4, 2014

            Adam needed the login for TurboTax.  That seems like a simple enough request but whenever I go to the site I am automatically logged in.  I tried to log in using my normal passwords but nothing worked.  Then I realized Adam did our taxes this year and suggested he might have changed the password.  He didn’t change the password but continued trying my email addresses and passwords in different combos (I guess) then got it. 

            Adam let me know that for the new mortgage there would be paperwork for me to sign for tax info and acknowledging that I know he is purchasing a home and it is separate property.  He asked if I was willing to sign so he can be closer to the kids and be a more active part in their lives.  He said he didn’t expect me to block him form purchasing so now he is asking.  I told him I can’t block him but if he chooses to close before the dissolution is complete then the property is marital property and I have nothing to do with that.  And I don’t understand how living closer equals being more active in their lives.  He works 10 minutes away.  He can easily pop in after work as long as he clears it with me first.  He does not need to live around the corner.

            He then told me he closes on 8/11 and we can add the property to the dissolution negotiations.  He assumes I will let him have it especially since he “agreed to basically just ‘gift’” me all the equity in the van and this house.  He said nothing he is getting out of the dissolution has any equity.  He said I could block him if I don’t sign the USAA papers.  He needs me to cooperate and for me to play nice. 

            Couple of issue I have with this bit.  We purchased the van as the vehicle I would use to transport children.  We sold the other van I drove prior to that.  He went out and bought the van and did not allow me to go because he felt he could get a better deal without me around.  He then put the van in his name only. I understand it is his van but I’m the one that has been driving it for seven years! Second, I have been trying to play nice.  I would like to cooperate but that means he needs to communicate.

            So, in my own effort to cooperate and play nice I told him that as long as I had the papers in advance and could have my lawyer look over them I would sign if advised to sign.  He said there was a tax form needing to be signed immediately.  I told him I meet with my attorney on Tuesday to discuss signing realtor papers and I would add this tax form to the discussion.  He sent me nicely focused and centered photos of the papers on FB.  Then added “ I guess if you like to spend your money that way? I don’t get it.”  Um, I like getting my attorney’s advise on legal matters because I am in the middle of a dissolution, seems like a good idea. 

            When Adam dropped the kids off tonight he came to the kitchen door.  He was leaning against the frame telling me he needs me to sign the papers right now.  He cannot wait until I see the lawyer on Tuesday.  The kids were all standing around and things were getting heated so I told Adam he needed to leave, I wasn’t comfortable continuing the conversation.  He stood up, puffed out his chest and seemed like he might press me further. I admit, I was even worried he might get physical.  He made a comment about me doing like I always do, stopping the conversation because I want to and only worrying about my wants and myself.  He brought up the “never answering his texts, too. " I said I don’t answer his aggressive texts.  All the rest I answer. I mentioned him buying the “actual beds” and pointed out they all had mattresses and he purchased frames.  Not exactly a need to have mattresses off the floor.  He said “Just like you to still focus on you.” He also said, “You have an income now.”  I told him I do not get paid until I have been working a month. “You have an income now.”  Repeated. No, I do not! I asked him again to leave and he finally did.  I was shaking and crying by then.     

July 7, 2014

            Asked Adam in text if he could take the kids to auditions Sunday.  Everyone but littlest can audition and they are super excited! 

July 8, 2014

            Never heard back form Adam.  I don’t want audition times to fill up so I went ahead and scheduled them for Monday when I can take them. 

July 9, 2014

            I asked Adam if I could bring the kids a little late on Friday because Oldest has a hair appointment at 5pm.  I haven’t gotten the thumbs up.