April 19, 2014
The oldest is
set to dye her hair. She and I talked about it
and in order for her to still be able to do theatre, we compromised on just dying
the tips.
April 21, 2014
Transferred
money from savings to cover a DANTES exam.
Adam said it was okay.
April 22, 2014
Adam:”
Here’s to hoping you passed your final exam!
I’m sad we’re so distant now, because I’d love to be celebrating the
culmination of all your hard work.”
It makes me sad too but I don’t think he really wants to
hear how things make me feel. He is
still blaming me for everything and being so hurtful. Why would I share my
accomplishment with the person that made it such a difficult journey?
April 24, 2014
I took
another CLEP/DANTES. I haven’t received
my own checks yet so I wrote one using the joint account to cover the sitting
fee. I let Adam know and I only
transferred $405 of my allowance leaving the sitting fee amount in the
account.
I had a bit
of a rough time with the youngest kids.
They are certain Adam is going “far away and never coming back. " I asked that he call them to clear this
confusion up. He said he will. I am thinking the little ones are confusing him
going on a business trip to mean he is never coming back.
April 25, 2014
I promised
Adam I would get an STI panel run since I didn’t use a condom the first time
Gary and I had sex. The results
are back and there were no surprises. As far as I know, Adam has not gotten his own
STI panel run even though he has had at least four sex partners since opening
the marriage and allowed a woman to perform oral sex on him without a
condom.
April 30, 2014
A
discussion about splitting the equity in the van and the house I'm living in with the children came up
today. Adam wanted to use the home
equity to pay the tax bill. I don’t see
the house as having any real equity. We
know there are problems with the house that would need to be fixed before it
could be sold: roof and chimneys. The
equity in the home would cover just those fixes needed to sell the home to
break even. Adam isn’t interested in a
short-sale, which would mean buyers take as is, so the equity needs to be
available. He also said that if I
weren’t able to keep the house he would want to buy it so the kids could still
live here and not get “jerked around.”
He also
said when we split our debt it isn’t split by creditor; we each maintain
responsibility for the debts no matter what.
He is worried that I would file bankruptcy and the debt I took would
become his. He wants to know what I plan
to do. He said he plans to split the
debt then work like crazy to pay it off.
He said he would like to avoid a contested divorce and finalize things
before he changes jobs. I told him my
debt free plan is similar: pay it off.
This should be a given since I am a Dave Ramsey follower.
Then he
asked if I failed my last CLEP/DANTES.
He said I never told him so he assumed I passed.
He also
wants to see the kids tonight. I asked
how he wants to go about that. He said
he would pick them up around 6pm and wants me to make sure they are finished
with their homework and nighttime requirements including dinner. Great, I get to rush our evening.
I asked if
he wanted to keep them all night. He
said it makes him nervous that he might get them to school late because they
haven’t done the school drill at his house.
He needs to do some planning to make sure they have all their school
stuff packed and hair stuff ready. Plus
he needs to figure out when they would need to wake up. He said maybe they can
start next week staying over during the week.
I don’t understand why he needs so long.
They have clothes. He should have
shampoo and such since they have been seeing him on the weekends. All he needs to do is calculate the travel
time.
May 1, 2014
First thing
this morning Adam sent a Happy Birthday text.
I know he means well but he is approaching the day how he thinks he
should. He isn’t thinking how it might
be a very hard day for me. My last
birthday was such a wonderful and loving surprise from him. Today I struggled so much. I wish he had just ignored the day and
me.
To add
insult to it all, Adam asked to take one of the boys out to a movie. What happened to him harping about spending
birthdays together as a family? He
wasn’t even going to pick him up until 8pm.
That would mean getting home after 11pm. That seems very late for a school night and
for a kid that has been sick lately. I
asked if there was an earlier show next week or maybe they could just go for
dessert. Little guy said he really wanted to go
so I let him. Happy birthday to me.
May 2, 2014
Little guy got
sick at school. I was grocery
shopping. Adam was not reachable. Poor kid had to wait for me to drive there to
get him. Took about an hour.
Adam asked
if I wanted the kids back for Mother’s Day.
I asked “Won’t I get them that evening?” or if he was keeping them until
Monday. He said it had nothing to do
with Monday, he just thought I would want them the whole day. I love my kids but I would like to sleep in
on Mother’s Day. We can celebrate
Mother’s Day in the evening when he brings them home. Call me crazy but having 7 kids waking me up
bright and early and needing to be fed and then cleaned up after sounds like a
lot of work on my “holiday.”
This was
followed by a lecture. Adam is upset I
“re-gifted” the birthday presents from the kids.
I explained that I didn’t re-gift, I shared. He said it doesn’t matter how I spin it. It’s not okay. What I didn’t tell him was it was really
difficult to accept gifts I knew came from him.
The kids never get me birthday presents.
But this wasn’t about me, it was about what Adam deemed appropriate
behavior and I was wrong again.
May 6, 2014
Infusion on
Thursday, I asked Adam if he wanted to spend the morning with the littlest.
I was also
busy cleaning out the classroom closet today and found a $389.13 check for
Adam. I asked what he wanted me to do
with it (deposit or give to him). He said
to deposit it so he could pay his travel card.
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